Hillbilly Elegy – 2nd Reflection

    What comes to mind when I say the word ‘hillbilly’? Before reading this memoir, a certain life style would drift into my mind. Men work construction or doing other labor work until their faces and necks are beat red from the sun. Women took care of the lousy and naughty children in the modest homes and cook for the family. Some houses in the neighborhood would have garbage littered in the front yard and the grass was never mowed. This kind of image might ring true in some areas in America; however, it does paint the areas in a negative or gloomy picture.

    The author, J.D. Vance described his family, a generation of Kentucky Hillbilly, as a typical family in the American South. The men worked in factories and came home exhausted. The women cooked and cleaned the house. The children played without a single worry in their minds. And at nights, the husbands and the wives would shout at each other with their full lungs; and sometimes closed-fists would fly out and cause mayhem. This was how J.D.’S mother was raised and how J.D. was raised to a certain extend. However, J.D. also described another side of the hillbilly that people outside of the community often do not see: the fierce loyalty they have for family.

 

    When J.D. was a child, grandma and grandpa took him to a mall. He went into a toy store and began playing with a miniature air plane. The teenage cashier shouted at him for playing with it without paying, and J.D. went outside of the store crying. Regular parents or guardians would probably say something alone the lines of: Well, you shouldn’t go running off like that and taking something without permission. Lo and behold, grandma and grandpa Vance went into the store with clenched fists and crashed everything in the store. Also, they threatened do something really awful to the young cashier because he made their grandson shed a tear. In retrospect, J.D. reflected on the drama and the unnecessary threats that their family often make to protect or get back at somebody else. But that was how a hillbilly treats their family; loyalty always comes first.

 

    Reading this part of the story was truly fascinating because it made the character’s motives clear as day. They did what they did because they believed that was for the greater good of the family. Sometimes, the intention was good; however, it was the execution that made life a living hell for J.D. when he was young.

Hillbilly Elegy – 1st Reflection

 

Hillbilly Elegy is a memoir detailing the passionate but also chaotic white working-class family of the Vances. The author, J.D. Vance, started the life story of the Vances from way before he was born, from an era of teenage pregnancy and the prosperous industrial town of Jackson and Middletown, all the way to the time when his mother struggled with addiction and a bunch of debt. It is a personal analysis on his family and the white working-class crisis that is currently taking place in America.

 

To be honest, at the first dozen pages I was quite bored. Vance was building the narrative of the town that he lived in for most of his childhood, and he did so by retelling fun and captivating little stories of his time with his grandparents. But this is not just a retell of his life, this is a 265-paged long essay on the devastating state of the white working-class Americans; therefore, he provided studies, statistics, numbers on the specific subject. Which was not a good read before bed-time, for I would be asleep a few pages in.

 

But what really shines here is his struggle with his teenage life, his mother wanted to give her children a good father figure to look up to; hence, she would marry her boss, a guy that she had only met for a month, a drug dealer, and several boyfriends with abusive tendencies. Vance wrote due to the instability of his childhood life, he felt insecure and twitchy and nervous almost at all times. He failed almost all of his class, even his favorite subject, Algebra. He hung out with the wrong crowd; he smoked weed and destroyed community property. He lashed out at the people he cared about. He became a person he was not proud of. But eventually he changed his way, and worked his way up and graduated from Yale Law School. (I’ve only read to the part where he hung out with the wrong crowd.)

 

This memoir came to my attention because of the Netflix adaptation of the same name, staring Amy Adams and Glenn Close. And I gotta watch my girl Amy’s film because SHE IS AWESOME. The movie was good on its own, it paid respect to the original source material by reenacting the pivotal points of J.D.’s life with a few characters swapped out. However, the story became the struggle of a single family instead of the current state of the whole white middle-class, and that was quite disappointing. I think this memoir would do better as a mini-series because there are too much to tell and none of them could be left out.

 

After reading to the mid-point of this memoir, I was reminded of a YouTube channel called Soft White Underbelly.

 

It was made by a famous photographer named Mark Laita. He interviews people from all walks of life and put the videos on YouTube for people to watch and learn. One of the most captivating people under his lens was an Appalachian woman named Shannon. She lived in the same part of America as J.D.’s family and I could draw a lot of parallels between them. They were sharp, but because of the circumstances of their lives and families, often times their lives end up being tragedies. I really recommend people check out this YouTube channel and hear people’s life story. They would blow your mind.

To Kill a Mockingbird – 3rd Reflection

 

The most apparent and easy to catch on theme in To Kill a Mockingbird is the injustice and unfairness some of the people were subjected to in the small and isolated town of Maycomb. The prejudice and hatred swirled in the place toward the black community, the poor ‘white trash’ community and the women since the first Finch founded and established the town. 

Harper Lee’s approach to expose the condition that the people were living in in the American south during the 60s is the most interesting writing choice to observe. Through the eyes of the 9-year-old that we follow, our hearts dance with her thoughts, her fears and her questions about the community. She herself had made the mistakes of putting people in a certain type of box, such as Cunninghams were supposed to be poor and uncaring for their own terrible situation, like Arthur Radley was a phantom that haunted the people of Maycomb for no apparent reason, and how Aunt Alexandra was this overly conservative and demanding woman that wanted to shape people to fit into her own ideology. 

But through Scout Finch’s gradual understanding of humanity, she realized everyone in this town; although sometimes would commit monstrous acts, was still human in their hearts. They have their own reasons, justified or not, to make those decisions. In the monumental case against Tom Robinson, we understood why Mayella Ewell lied in her testimony about Robinson assaulting her. We can never justify her lies, but we can all sympathize with her.

I recently watched a heart-wrenching crime documentary on the repent of people who sexually assaulted children, ‘What Drives A Family To Prey On Their Own - Incest: A Family Tragedy.’ The director, Edward Blackoff, interviewed a number of people who were assaulted by family members or had assaulted minors. And it was quick in the interview that the viewers would realize most of the offenders were victims once; they were preyed on by their own family members and lived in fear and pain one time. Of course, it doesn’t and can never excuse their hideous doings, but it opened up a brand-new perspective that this vicious cycle developed from a family tragedy and human psychology could never be stopped if we don’t act on preventing it. 

To Kill a Mockingbird – 2nd Reflection

In To Kill a Mockingbird, we follow the mind of a little girl through one year of her childhood that would change how she viewed the world forever. From the very start of the story, we are introduced to the big bad wolf of the town, Boo Radley. A fearsome phantom that lived in a house filled with overgrown plants and chilled air. It is said when people’s garden flowers withered during the winter, it was because Boo breathed on them; when people’s livestock and pets had been slaughtered mysteriously, even though the culprit was eventually found and sentenced, words about Boo’s involvement still spread. It was an unspoken truth that Boo Radley had a taste for people’s suffering in Maycomb.

However, most people in Maycomb had never met Boo Radley. He never came out of the haunted house. So, these rumors, speculations, mockery spiraled out of control, and they eventually reached the young and untainted and unassuming mind of the young Scout Finch. She was scared of the haunted house; never wanting to take a step closer. The tales of how Boo would take children who were messing about near his house made chills run up her spine. She was scared of this phantom.

But when Jem, Scout and Dill went in the Radley’s place and disturbed the calming Maycomb night, Jem found the pants that he had torn and left at the fence in the haunted house sewn crookedly and placed neatly beside where they had been; as if someone had known that Jem would come back for it. Jem and Scout thought it was a warning; warning them not to go back again. A week later this incident, the Finches found little trinkets in a hole in a tree that they always passed on the way to school. Two figures made of soap, one representing a boy wearing shorts and the other representing a girl with bangs. Chewing gum, which was incredibly hard to come by. A word-spelling medal. And a pocket watch attached to an aluminum knife.

It was later revealed that Boo, Arthur Radley, had been their guardian angel this whole time. He was afraid of venturing out for all the insidious and wicked things that happened in the world. When Jem was practicing shooting, Atticus said to him it was alright to kill bluejays, but it was a sin to kill a mockingbird, “Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.” Arthur Radley is a mockingbird.

The theme of the unfairness and unjustness that the characters faced in To Kill a Mockingbird is painstakingly apparent, and it made me wonder, was there ever a time where I made my judgement on someone without hearing the full story?

To Kill a Mockingbird - 1st Reflection

 To Kill a Mockingbird - 1st Reflection

 

To Kill a Mockingbird, written by the now esteemed-author, Harper Lee, was published in 1960, and became a smash-hit instantly when it came out. The story was revealed layer by layer by the protagonist, Scout Finch, a nine-year-old girl living in a self-isolated community of Maycomb City, Alabama. Through her untainted and naïve mindset, we see her inner-thoughts and interactions with the courageous, troubled, selfish or condemned people of her hometown.

 

And from my self-introduction and my tone in the previous paragraph, you might’ve guessed I am absolutely astounded, moved, and whatever-positive-adjective-you-can-think-of about the heart-wrenching plot and characters in this book. To give you a more comprehensive view of the overall theme of this novel, I will divulge in one of my favorite arcs in this plot.

 

This little story begins with rumors about a Mrs. Dubose. It was said that she kept a pistol at all times underneath all the wraps of clothing she wore. Every time Scout and Jem Finch, her older brother, walked past the Dubose house, Mrs. Debose would holler hideous and disrespectful accusations at them. However, their father, Atticus Finch, tipped his hat and greeted her with a smile no matter how ugly and vicious Mrs. Dubose’s spat was. He was a gentleman and told Scout and Jem to hold their head high and don’t mind her.

 

However, it all went wrong when Mrs. Dubose accused Atticus Finch as “a piece of trash like the people he works for.” At this time, Atticus had just taken on the defense for a black man in court; Jem and Scout had experienced the ripple effect, mainly consisting of ridicules and exclusion from school peers. They did as Atticus told them, holding their heads high, but this time, Jem went mad and destroyed Mrs. Dubose’s camellia in her garden. When Atticus found out, he made Jem apologize to Mrs. Debose, and she wanted Jem to read stories for her for two hours at a time for a month as compensation. Despite his weariness and unwillingness,  he did so and hated every second of it. Mrs. Dubose would lay on her bed motionless, seemingly spacing-out, but every time Jem made a mistake in his reading, she was sharp to point it out. And she was adamant on telling Jem how much of a scum his father was and Jem should regret destroying her flowers. As time went on, she closed her eyes and all her limbs released a tension and fell asleep. Then, Jem and Scout went home and sat in anxious anticipation for the next reading.

 

Their sessions went on longer and longer each time; however, Mrs. Debose’s sudden fits filled with nasty words were less frequent. Jem and Scout now held a sort of indifference toward these fits; the words still brought out a fierce fire in their spines, but the Finches never lashed out anymore. Atticus went with Jem and Scout one time; Mrs. Debose smiled at him and said she hadn’t had a fit in nearly two hours. It was agonizing for Jem and Scout. Over a month after the reading session ended, Atticus revealed that Mrs. Debose had died. Mrs. Debose had been a morphine addict. She could’ve spent the rest of her short life on it and die without pain, but she refused.

 

“She said she was going to leave this world beholden to nothing and nobody. Jem, when you’re sick as she was, it’s all right to take anything to make it easier, but it wasn’t all right for her. She said she meant to break herself of it before she died, and that’s what she did,” Atticus said to Jem. The fits were one of the symptoms from withdrawing her addiction, and what Jem and Scout thought was torture sent from hell was actually a welcomed distraction for Mrs. Debose’s pain and suffering.

 

And the next lines of dialogue were one of the most transcendently beautiful words ever composed. Atticus said to Jem, “I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. Mrs. Debose won, all ninety-eight pounds of her. According to her views, she died beholden to nothing and nobody. She was the bravest person I know.”

 

I read through the eyes of Scout, and at first, I thought how much of an unruly and despicable woman Mrs. Debose was. Just like the rumors suggested, she held a grudge with everyone in this community. But when the truth was revealed, I had it all wrong. Not everything is what they seem. Rumors, our perceived-perspectives, our projection, they all help us paint a layer of somebody’s action in a different light.  

 

I remember playing a game called The Beginner’s Guide. The protagonist loved playing and creating video games, and he met a person named Coda in a video game convention. He thought Coda’s games were like nothing he had seen before, they were innovative and personal. They became friends and they created game for each other to play. Then, he realized Coda’s games became increasingly dark, incorporating themes like loneliness, depression, peer-pressure, social anxiety and such. He wanted to help Coda break through this invisible wall they had with the outside world; therefore, he started showing people Coda’s games without their consent. People really liked it, and the protagonist thought he did a great thing; he helped his friend. However, Coda then wrote a letter dedicated to him in a game. They said making games with dark-themes did not mean they were depressed, and the fact that the protagonist saw them as such said more about his own state-of-mind than Coda. The protagonist wanted recognition, attention; he wanted to be a good person. He was projecting his state-of-mind onto Coda’s games, and he then used their games to receive the attention he wanted for himself.

 

This makes me wonder, how many times have I thought someone was one way but fails to see the suffering underneath the surface? Or have I ever thought someone was desperately crying for help due to my own state-of-mind when they were simply playing with a dark-themed idea? Our opinions on someone or something often times are hindered by other unrelated influence, and the subjects in question become narrow and one-dimensional. And in the story of To Kill a Mockingbird, almost everyone has an agenda that paints everything else in a different light. In Jem and Mrs. Debose’s story, I learned that, at first, Mrs. Debose was seen as a demon descended from hell for the Finches, but she posed as a blessing in disguise. They learned not to bow down for empty accusations; they learned not to make of someone from rumors and face value; they learned it was courageous to commit to something even though they might be of disadvantage and have a high chance of failure.

A Little Bit About Me

 

A Little Bit About Me

    Hello, everybody! I'm Lea.

    Since this is a blog dedicated to my novel-reading journey, I will share a little bit of my past experience with novels. 

    And what can I say more than I freacking enjoy reading novels. I’m not too picky on genres; however, thrillers and mysteries are my favorite types of novels. I especially like having a physical book in my hand because when I finish it, I feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. 

    If I am truly absorbed into the plot of the novel, I can spend my whole day reading without realizing that time has passed. My highest record is finishing a 640 paged novel in eight hours. I started regularly reading novels when I was in elementary school which had a broad collection of novels and encyclopedias. The first novel that I read was by a famous Taiwanese light-novel writer, 御我. Then, I was introduced to The Hunger Games. Sounds like quite a big jump, I know; but both authors includes amazing character building and fantastical plot points. The fictional dystopian world of The Hunger Games was so unlike anything that I had ever read, and I was completely mesmerized. The Hunger Games is still one of my favorite franchises. My imagination plays an important role when I’m reading, all the locations, descriptions, interactions come to life in my mind. Thus, characters in novels become more real than ever. 

    I often think about what would I do if I were in their stead, would I do anything differently and why? For example, one of the most famous plots in The Hunger Games is the main character, Katniss Everdeen, sacrificing herself as tribute to replace her sister. If someone whom I care about deeply were to be a tribute in the game, would I sacrifice myself to replace them? These kinds of questions may seem overly dramatic at first glance, but from my perspective, they make me think critically. If I were to face a difficult situation, some of these questions would help me make up my mind quicker and, hopefully, provide the best solution to the problem at hand. 

    Recently, I have started to read novels in English as a fun way to learn the language, and it’s going wonderfully. I read the timeless classic To Kill A Mockingbird this winter vacation, and I've got a lot to say about it. So, get ready for my reading blog on this masterpiece of a work by Harper Lee!