Author: Daniel H. Pink
Genre: Self-help book
Why regret make us better?
Try to think of one thing that you regret lately. Is it not spending
time more wisely like I did most of the time on something that doesn’t really
mean much? Or the other way, we should pay more attention to the details. Let’s
not discuss which behaviour is better first.
The author told us through the study by two developmental
psychologists, Robert Guttentag and Jennifer Ferrell reading stories to a group
of children that people without regrets often are seriously ill but aren’t
paragons of psychological health. Regrets mean that we will look back on our lives
and wish we had done things differently. Although this means we mostly will feel
worse when we think about it, it helps us to do better tomorrow.
He stated three benefits including improving decisions,
boosting performance and deepen meaning. We often decide with single consideration
if we don’t have much experience. When the events process further, the effect
of the decision will gradually appear. They might be difficult to resolve or
improve to the ideal situation that we thought it should be. But this gives us
a worthy message based on our own experience, which we will be more aware of it
next time. In other words, regret, as I understand, makes us learn through our
own feelings.
If the things aren’t reversible or zero chance to get over
again, the most we can do is to develop the most of it while we still need to
cop with it. The situation is slightly different, where we find another view or
ways of the event.
The book also shows the most common regrets in 2021 between
nearly 4,500 adults in the US. The proportion of relationships is the top 2
categories Americans regret the most namely families and partners. Life
questions such as education and career follow up closely by only 3 per cent.
As a person who looks back on my life all the time, I didn’t
find that surprising, but I also want to imagine that there might be a platform
to let people in different stages share their valuable ideas to let these repent things stop looping.
Lastly, I’d like to share a quote from the interviewee in her mid-forty at the end of this non-regretted read book.
‘I regret ignoring my inner voice
and not heeding its plea to be more adventurous and for trying to live up to
the expectations of society instead of focusing on myself.’
Hello, Rachel. (*^▽^*)
ReplyDeleteI was really impressed by your topic this time. "Regret" is a familiar feeling in our life, and I think a life without regrets may not be "real" life. As you said, "people without regrets often are seriously ill." Regret is the normal state in life, and a life without regrets is abnormal and a dull journey without any risk. After reading your reflection, I recalled that I once heard Kathryn Schulz's talk in a TED talk about regretting. As a perfectionist, she had said the words in a speech titled "Don't regret regret," "If you want to be a whole soul, learn how to live with regret, not get rid of it. It." Regret is inevitable, and every choice has its opportunity cost; no matter which path you choose, it means immediately giving up the benefits of other alternatives; there is never a "best decision." Sometimes, we are always afraid to make decisions for fear of regret. However, we should remember that a life without regrets does not exist, and every regret has its value behind it. Only in these big and small regrets can we constantly correct our steps through those experiences.
In fact, in my opinion, regret is the result of an event, and not regretting it is the feeling of an event. Run as hard as you can, try your best to live the life you want, and if things don't turn out as expected, just let things happen, and then let them go through our lives. We can regret our decisions, but we can't wallow in regret.
Hello, Rachel. This is Joyceline.
ReplyDelete"Regret" is what I usually suffer in my daily life. To be frank, I am not particularly eager to face this situation. This means I do something that didn't follow my schedule and plan. That's the way the cookie crumbles. I learn how to change my attitude and solution through every struggle. The novel's philosophy is similar to the Nova effect. Nova effect is named after a dog. The story begins with a man unexpectedly losing his dog. Then, bad luck and good things happened in his life. And since these cause-effect chains keep extending as long as you live, you cannot know if some event or experience of your life would become the cause for something positive or negative. In my opinion, this is why regret is so powerful. In addition, I was touched by the quote in your last paragraph. "I regret ignoring my inner voice and not heeding its plea to be more adventurous and for trying to live up to society's expectations instead of focusing on myself," a quote reveals how I struggle right now. It is so anxious when I fear doing what I am eager to achieve because of society's expectations. Maybe I should reset my mind and find out what I desire. Because we only live once.